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Playing the Comparison Game & Dealing with In...

Playing the Comparison Game & Dealing with Influencer Jealousy

The irony of the title (as I sit here typing this, on a King sized bed, in a hotel room in Vancouver, paid for by one of the biggest athletic brands in the world), is not lost on me.

This is literally a dream come true for me. Flying across the country to model for two days, doing what I love, and getting paid for it? How could I possibly want more?

As I waited in the airport, I started scrolling through my Instagram feed. I noticed other fitness influencers being chosen to be interviewed on TV, being a part of an awesome looking panel, or driving their business forward with new and impressive content. It dawned on me that while I was extremely happy for them, it also made me feel like I wasn’t doing enough.

cred: Bettina Bogar @ Framewrk

Why hadn’t I been asked to be on the panel? Why hadn’t I put together a new video for my marketing? Why wasn’t I invited to a particular gym? WHY WHY WHYYYYY.

I was literally about to get onto a plane for a dope ass photoshoot and I was questioning… WHY I hadn’t been invited… to a gym??

WTF, Beverley.

Unfortunately, this isn’t the first time that I’ve felt this way, and it won’t be the last. And if someone as confident and happy as I am, can feel this way, I’m sure some of you can relate to it too.

I think a big part of feeling like this, is going from doing this as my side hustle, to my full time job. When it was on the side, I always had an excuse for why something hadn’t been done. I had a full time job to go to! OBVIOUSLY I couldn’t go to a daytime brunch on a TUESDAY. (That’s why I didn’t go… it wasn’t cause I wasn’t invited…) (lol jk I totally was not invited).

Now that it’s my career, (and literally), my entire life, my perspective has changed. I look at others in the same field as me, and wonder why they got picked for something, and I wasn’t. Or why they got sent a package, when I didn’t.

It’s gross. It’s a gross feeling, it’s a gross perspective, and it’s a new mindset that I have to consistently deal with and try to shut down over and over. I never used to be like this. The last time I compared myself to another girl was when I was 14 years old and compared my ugly green snow pants to this older girls’ cool looking Burton snow pants.

I’m serious! I realized as I grew up that I HATED that feeling, and comparing myself to others was just a game, I was not down to play. Who else is with me?

This is something I wanted to touch on and talk about, because as social media grows, there are more and more people starting their own Instagram accounts and blogs, and trying to ‘make it’ in this industry. And seeing that someone got invited to something, or got sent something when you didn’t, can be really disheartening.

I’ve thought about this for a while, and it wasn’t until I watched my girl Johanna Seier talk about it, that I realized I was looking at it in all the wrong ways. What she said really resonated with me, and it was this:

Just because you see someone else being successful, growing their business, and collaborating with brands, does NOT take away from your own successes and achievements.

So simple, right?

But funnily enough, something that I never thought of myself. Because honestly, I just never needed to. Until now.

Just because one of my peers got chosen to be a part of a super fun campaign, (that I thought I would have been PERFECT for), does not mean that I am any less successful in my own business.

Just because you see another fashion blogger being sent another f*(&-ing pair of sneakers, and YOU were not, does not take away from how well received and shared your last blog post was.

This doesn’t even apply to business – this can apply anywhere in your life. Fitness, finances, being a mother/father. Other peoples’ success does NOT take away from yours, and sometimes you just have to remind yourself of that.

(Or have your friend remind you, for you. Thanks Jo!)

The grass always seems greener on the other side, but sometimes you just need to roll around in your own grass for a bit, before you realize it’s just as PHRESH.

What About You?!

  • Have you felt ‘influencer’ jealousy?
  • How do you stop yourself from comparing others successes to your own?
  • Any other thoughts?

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  1. Ahhh this could not have come at a better time! Yesterday I was having a pretty off day with not feeling good enough lingering in the back of my mind. Just have to accept the thoughts, reframe them and move on! We all deal with this in some way or another and it’s important to practice gratitude and remember what we DO have and just how lucky we are ❤️

  2. Jorge Quinteros

    6 February

    I’ve absolutely struggled with this very dilemma regarding my photography. I’ve discovered there’s an infinite number of categories upon which one can compare ourselves to others but in my experience, the one way in which I’ve kinda countered that feeling of whether I’m “good enough” is to step back, reflect and sincerely be happy for the success of others. If we fake it then there’s really no good karma to come from that.

    Also, a good friend once told me, “make sure always to water your own grass.” Sometimes I tend to focus too much on other people that I lose valuable time that could have otherwise been used to invest in myself. This doesn’t mean I don’t pay attention to what others are doing but when I do, if anything, I utilized that glance I did as fuel and inspiration to continue grinding on my own thing.

  3. Lucy

    6 February

    Thank you for this post, Beverley. I found myself doing the same thing recently too and now I know I’m not the only one!

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